Category: Humor

An elderly man lay dying in his bed. In death's agony, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favorite chocolate chip cookies wafting up the stairs. He gathered his remaining strength, and lifted himself from the bed.Leaning against the wall, he slowly made his way out of the bedroom, and with even greater effort forced…

In answer to the eternal question "Is it better to be a jock or a nerd?"I submit the following:Michael Jordan will make over $300,000 a game:$10,000 a minute, assuming he averages about 30 minutes per game.Assuming $40 million in endorsements next year, he'll be making $178,100 a day (working or not)!Assuming he sleeps 7 hours…

Ushers will eat newcomers.During the absence of our pastor, we enjoy the rare priviledge of hearing a good sermon when J.F. Stubbs supplied our pulpit.Pastor is on vacation. Massages can be given to church secretary.The chior will meet at the Larsen house for fun ans sinning.Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale.  It is a good…

Demotivators

Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiousity.I would not allow this employee to breed.This associate is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definitely won't be.Works well when under constant supervision and…

Seventy-year-old George went for his annual physical.  All of his tests came back with great results.  Dr. Smith said, “George, everything looks great physically, but how are you doing mentally and emotionally?  Are you at peace with yourself; do you have a good relationship with God?”George replied, "Absolutely.  God and me are tight.  We are…

The first book of the Bible is Guiness, in which Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree.Noah's wife was called Joan of Ark.Lot's wife was a pillar of salt by day and ball of fire by night.The Jews had trouble throughout their history with unsympathetic Genitals.Samson slayed the Philistines with the axe of…