Category: Humor

From the Sunday, April 14, 1994 edition of the "Washington Post".  A contest was held in which readers were asked to come up with excuses to miss a day of work.If it is all the same to you, I won't be coming in to work.  The voices told me to clean all the guns today.When…

We've all been there but don't like to admit it.  We've all kicked back in our cubicles and suddenly felt something a brew down below. As much as we try to convince ourselves, the WORK POOP is inevitable.  For those of you who hate pooping at work as much as I do, I give you…

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I cannot accept, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those I had to kill today because they pissed me off.And also, help me to be careful of the toes I step on today as they…

We know stuff about tanks.A 5-day trip requires only one suitcase.We can open all our own jars.We can go to the bathroom without a support group.We don't have to learn to spell a new last name.We can leave a motel bed unmade.We can kill our own food.We get extra credit for the slightest act of…

Before criticizing people, walk a mile in their shoes.  Then when you do criticize them, you will be a mile away and have their shoes.If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, let go, because, man, they're gone.If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We…

A team of archaeologists were excavating in Israel when they came upon a cave.  Written on the wall of the cave were the following symbols in order of appearance.A dogA donkeyA shovelA fishA Star of DavidThey decided that this was a unique find and the writings were at Least more than three thousand years old.…