Some words to live by

08/03/2000 Dr Wingnut Humor Comments Off on Some words to live by
  • Friends don't let friends take home ugly men.Women's restroom, Starboard, Dewey Beach, DE
  • The best way to a man's heart is to saw his breast plate open.Women's restroom, Murphy's, Champaign, IL
  • Don't trust anything that bleeds for 5 days and doesn't die.Men's restroom, Murphy's, Champaign, IL
  • If you can piss this high, join the fire department.On the wall in the men's restroom at a height of 6 feet. O'Ryan's Irish Pub. Ashland, Oregon.
  • Beauty is only a light switch away.Perkins Library. Duke University. Durham, North Carolina.
  • I've decided that to raise my grades I must lower my standards.Houghton Library, Harvard University. Cambridge, Massachusetts.
  • If life is a waste of time, and time is a waste of life, then let's all get wasted together and have the time of our lives.Armand's Pizza. Washington, DC
  • Remember, it's not, "How high are you?" it's "Hi, how are you?"Rest stop off Route 81. West Virginia.
  • God made pot. Man made beer. Who do you trust?The Irish Times. Washington, DC
  • Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.The Bayou, Baton Rouge, Louisiana.
  • No matter how good he looks, some other woman is sick and tired of putting up with his shit.Women's Room, Linda's Bar and Grill. Chapel Hill, North Carolina.
  • To do is to be. -Descartes
    To be is to do. -Voltaire
    Do be do be do. -Frank SinatraMen's restroom, Greasewood Flats. Scottsdale, Arizona.
  • At the feast of ego, everyone leaves hungry.Bentley's House of Coffee and Tea, Tucson, Arizona.
  • It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.Written in the dust on the back of a bus. Wickenburg,Arizona.
  • Make love, not war. Hell, do both, get married!Women's restroom, The Filling Station. Bozeman, Montana.
  • God is dead. -Nietzsche
    Nietzsche is dead. -GodThe Tombs Restaurant. Washington, DC
  • If voting could really change things, it would be illegal.Revolution Books. New York, New York.
  • A Woman's Rule of Thumb: If it has tires or testicles, you're going to have trouble with it.Women's restroom, Dick's Last Resort. Dallas, Texas.
  • JESUS SAVES! But wouldn't it be better if he had invested?Men's restroom, American University. Washington, DC
  • If pro is opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress?  Congress!Men's restroom, House of Representatives. Washington,D.C.
  • Watch out for Gay Limbo DancersInside toilet stall door, Men's restroom,
  • Express Lane: Five beers or lessSign over one of the urinals, Ed Debevic's. Phoenix, AZ.
  • You're too good for him.Sign over mirror in Women's restroom, Ed Debevic's.  Beverly Hills, CA.
  • No wo nder you always go home alone.Sign over mirror in Men's restroom, Ed Debevic's. Beverly Hills, CA.

via Email from John Treworgy, Friday, November 13, 1998 10:18 AM