Category: Humor
-
Ten Ways To Tell If A Redneck Has Been Working On A Computer
The monitor is up on blocks.Outgoing faxes have tobacco stains on them.The six front keys have rotted out.The extra RAM slots have Ford truck parts stored in them.The numeric keypad only goes up to six.The password is "Bubba."There's a gun rack mounted on the CPU.There's a Skoal can in the CD-ROM drive.The keyboard is painted…
-
The Father's Eyes
This teenager lived alone with his father, and the two of them had a very special relationship. Even though the son was always on the bench, his father was always in the stands cheering. He never missed a game. This young man was still the smallest of the class when he entered high school. But…
-
The way it is…
One day the different parts of the body were having an argument to see which should be in charge.The BRAIN said "I do all the thinking so I'm the most important and I should be in charge."The EYES said "I see everything and let the rest of you know where we are, so I'm the…
-
Toddler Property Laws
If I like it, it's mine.If it's in my hand, it's mine.If I can take it from you, it's mine.If I had it a little while ago, it's mine.If it's mine, it must never appear to be yours in any way.If I'm doing or building something, all the pieces are mine.If it looks just like…
-
Weird Laws
Minnesota:It is illegal to tease skunks.Every man in Brainerd is required by law to grow a beard.Michigan: A state law stipulates that a woman's hair legally belongs to her husband.Under state law, dentists are officially classified as "mechanics."In Clawson, it is legal for a man to "sleep with his pigs, cows, horses, goats, and chickens."New…
-
Why it’s great to be a guy
Phone conversations last 30 secondsYou know useful stuff about tanks and airplanesA 5 day vacation requires only one suitcaseBathroom lines are 80% shorterYou can open all your own jarsOld friends don’t give you crap if you’ve lost or gained weightWhen clicking thru the channels you don’t have to stop on every shot of someone cryingYou…
-
A Good Wife
A wife accompanied her husband to the doctor's office. After his examination, the doctor summoned the wife into his office alone. The doctor said, "Your husband is suffering from a very severe disease, combined with horrible stress. If you don't do the following, your husband will surely die."Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be…
