Category: Humor

This is such a great line, I had to share it.  Earlier today, a co-worker asked for my opinion on a legal matter, and I told him how to get a case to support a particular legal principle by doing a Lexis search.  I told him that I’d send him the text for the search,…

In the South:If you run your car into a ditch, don’t panic.  Four men in a four-wheel drive pickup truck with a tow chain will be along shortly.  Don’t try to help them, just stay out of their way.  This is what they live for.Don’t be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the…

The North has Bloomingdale’s, the South has Dollar General.The North has coffee houses, the South has Waffle Houses.The North has dating services, the South has family reunions.The North has switchblade knives; the South has Lee Press-on Nails.The North has double last names; the South has double first names.The North has Indy car races; The South…

via email from Jeff Patten, Fri, 28 Sep 2007 13:57:41 -0700

When we came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket.  We went up to him and said, “Come on man, how about giving a senior citizen a break?” He ignored us and continued writing the ticket.  So I called him a Nazi turd.He glared at me and started writing another ticket for…

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security.  The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver’s license to verify my age.  I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home.  I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would…

Can you cry under water?How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?Once you’re in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?Why does a round pizza come in a square box?What disease did cured ham actually have?How is it that…