Category: Humor
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New Olympic condoms
A man is out shopping and discovers a new brand of Olympic condoms.Clearly impressed, he buys a pack. Upon getting home he announces to his wife the purchase he just made.“Olympic condoms?”, she blurts, “what makes them so special?”“There are three colors,” he replies, “gold, silver and bronze.”“What color are you going to wear tonight?”…
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When insults had class
He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.Winston ChurchillA modest little person, with much to be modest about.Winston ChurchillI have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.Clarence DarrowHe has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the…
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Balance
God was missing for six days. Eventually, Michael, the archangel, found him, resting on the seventh day. He inquired, “Where have you been?”God smiled deeply and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, “Look, Michael. Look what I’ve made.”Archangel Michael looked puzzled, and said, “What is it?”“It’s a planet,” replied God, “and I’ve put life on…
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Jesse Jackson Goes to Hell
One day in the future, Jesse Jackson has a heart-attack and dies. He immediately goes to hell, where the devil is waiting for him.“I don’t know what to do here,” says the devil. “You are on my list, but I have no room for you. You definitely have to stay here, so I’ll tell you…
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Dating norms
WHITE WOMENFirst date: You get to kiss her goodnight.Second date: You get to grope all over and make out.Third date: You get to have sex but only in the missionary position.IRISH WOMENFirst Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex.Second Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex.20th Anniversary: You both get blind…
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Who wants to be a Millionaire?
NEW YORK – Idaho resident Kathy Evans brought humiliation to her friends and family Tuesday when she set a new standard for stupidity with her appearance on the popular TV show, “Who Wants To Be A Millionaire.”It seems that Evans, a 32-year-old wife and mother of two, got stuck on the first question, and proceeded…
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Old Timer
An old man was sitting on a bench at the mall. A young man walked up and sat down next to him. He had spiked hair in different colours green, red, orange, blue, and yellow.The old man just stared at him. The young man turned to him and said sarcastically, “What’s the matter old timer,…