Church Bulletin Bloopers

09/21/2006 Dr Wingnut Humor Comments Off on Church Bulletin Bloopers
  • The Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled.  Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
  • Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM.  All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the BS is done.
  • The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the church breakfast next Sunday morning.
  • Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.
  • The pastor will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing, “Break Forth Into Joy.”
  • A songfest was hell at the Methodist church Wednesday.
  • Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.
  • The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare’s Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM.  The Congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
  • Thursday night Potluck Supper.  Prayer and medication to follow.
  • The rosebud on the altar this morning is to announce the birth of David, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Adams.
  • Tuesday at 4 PM there will be an ice cream social.  All ladies giving milk will please come early.
  • A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall.  Music will follow.
  • At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be “What Is Hell?”  Come early and listen to our choir practice.
  • Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church.  Please use large double door at the side entrance.
  • Please join us as we show our support for Amy and Alan who are preparing for the girth of their first child.
  • The Lutheran Men’s group will meet at 6 PM.  Steak, mashed potatoes, green beans, bread and dessert will be served for a nominal feel.
  • The Associate Minister unveiled the church’s new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: “I Upped My Pledge – Up Yours.”
  • Don’t let worry kill you, let the church help.
  • For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
  • This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.
  • The service will close with Little Drops of Water.  One of the ladies will start quietly and the rest of the congregation will join in.
  • Eight new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
  • The senior choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir.
via email Tue, 27 Jun 2000 05:25:02 -0500