A Dog’s Diary:
7 am – Oh boy! A walk! My favorite!
10 am – Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!
2 pm – Oh boy! A car ride! My favorite!
3 pm – Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!
4 pm – Oh boy! Playing ball! My favorite!
6 pm – Oh boy! Welcome home Mom! My favorite!
7 pm – Oh boy! Welcome home Dad! My favorite!
8 pm – Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9 pm – Oh boy! Tummy rubs on the couch! My favorite!
11 pm – Oh boy! Sleeping in my people’s bed! My favorite!
A Cat’s Diary:
Day 183 of my captivity.
My captors continued to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from clawing the furniture.
Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded — must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair — must try this on their bed.
Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was. Hmmm, not working according to plan.
I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured. But I can wait; it is only a matter of time.
via email from Jill Lord, Mon, 13 Mar 2006 10:56:53 -0800