Diaries of a Dog & Cat

A Dog’s Diary:

7 am – Oh boy!  A walk!  My favorite!

10 am – Oh boy!  Dog food!  My favorite!

2 pm – Oh boy!  A car ride!  My favorite!

3 pm – Oh boy!  The kids!  My favorite!

4 pm – Oh boy!  Playing ball!  My favorite!

6 pm – Oh boy!  Welcome home Mom!  My favorite!

7 pm – Oh boy!  Welcome home Dad!  My favorite!

8 pm – Oh boy!  Dog food!  My favorite!

9 pm – Oh boy!  Tummy rubs on the couch!  My favorite!

11 pm – Oh boy!  Sleeping in my people’s bed!  My favorite!

A Cat’s Diary:

Day 183 of my captivity.

My captors continued to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.  They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal.  The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from clawing the furniture.

Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded — must try this at the top of the stairs.  In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair — must try this on their bed.

Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of.  They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was.  Hmmm, not working according to plan.

I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches.  The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return.  He is obviously a half-wit.  The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant and speaks with them regularly.  I am certain he reports my every move.  Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured.  But I can wait; it is only a matter of time.

via email from Jill Lord, Mon, 13 Mar 2006 10:56:53 -0800

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