Disease Warning

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has issued a warning about a new virulent strain of Sexually Transmitted Disease.  The disease, “Gonorrhea Lectim” (Pronounced: “gonna re-elect him”), is contracted through dangerous and high-risk behavior.  Many victims contracted it in 2004, after having been screwed in the prior four years.

Cognitive characteristics of individuals infected include:

  • anti-social personality disorders
  • delusions of grandeur with messianic overtones
  • extreme cognitive dissonance
  • inability to incorporate new information
  • pronounced xenophobia and paranoia
  • inability to accept responsibility for own actions
  • cowardice masked by misplaced bravado
  • uncontrolled facial smirking
  • ignorance of geography and history
  • tendencies towards evangelical theocracy
  • categorical all-or-nothing behavior

Naturalists and epidemiologists are amazed at how this destructive disease originated only a few years ago from a bush found in Texas.

via email from John Treworgy, Wed, 16 Nov 2005 08:02:50 -0800