Funny Stuff

A husband and wife are getting all snugly in bed. The passion is heating up. But, then the wife stops and says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

The husband asks, "WHAT??" The wife explains that he must not be in tune with her emotional needs as a woman. The husband realizes that nothing is going to happen tonight and he might as well deal with it.

So the next day the husband takes her shopping at a big department store.  He walks around and has her try on three very expensive outfits.

As she emerges from the fitting room wearing the third outfit, he tells his wife, "we'll take all three of them." He then leads her to the shoe department, telling her to get matching shoes (worth $200 a pair) for each outfit.  From there, he goes to the jewelry department, where he picks out a set of diamond earrings.

The wife is SO excited. She thinks her husband has flipped out, but she doesn't care. While in the jewelry department, she asks him for a tennis bracelet.  The husband says, "But you don't even play tennis, but okay, if you like it, then let's get it."

The wife is jumping up and down so excited she cannot even believe what is going on. She says "I am ready to go, lets go to the cash register."

The husband says. "No-no-no. Honey, we're not going to buy all this stuff." The wife's face goes blank.  "No Honey – I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while."

Her face gets really red and she is about to explode… The husband smiles and then replies, "You must not be in tune with my financial needs as a man!"