Paddy was having coffee and croissants with butter and jam in a cafe when an English tourist, chewing gum, sat down next to him.

Paddy politely ignored the Englishman who nevertheless started up a conversation.

The Englishman snapped his gum and said, “Do you Irish people eat the whole bread?”

Paddy frowned, annoyed with being bothered during his breakfast, and replied “Of course.”

The Englishman blew a huge bubble.  “We don’t.  In England we only eat what’s inside.  We collect the crusts in a container, recycle them, transform them into croissants and sell them to Ireland.”

The Englishman had a smirk on his face. Paddy listened in silence.

The Englishman persisted saying, “Do you eat jam with the bread?”  Sighing, Paddy replied “Of course.”

Cracking his gum between his teeth, the Englishman said, “We don’t.  In England we eat fresh fruit for breakfast, then we put all the peels, seeds and leftovers in containers, recycle them, transform them into jam and sell it to Ireland.”

Paddy then asked “Do you have sex in England?”

The Englishman smiled and said, “Why of course we do.”

Paddy leaned closer to him and asked, “And what do you do with the condoms once you’ve used them?”

“We throw them away of course.”

Now it was Paddy’s turn to smile.  “We don’t.  In Ireland, we put them in a container, recycle them, melt them down into chewing gum and sell them to England.  Why do you think it’s called Wrigley’s?”

via email from John Treworgy, Mon, 17 Oct 2005 11:37:28 -0700