Did you ever wonder where all that stuff you had confiscated at the TSA security checkpoint at the airport goes?  Well; wonder no longer.  Apparently it goes up for auction on eBay.  Now you can buy your stuff again.  Is this a case of a “dumb-ass” tax?  I forget I have it in my carry-on, it gets confiscated, then I get to buy it back on eBay.  What a way to increase tax revenue.  It sure would be nice if there way some way you could purchase a prepaid envelope that you could drop your contriband into at security and have it waiting for you when you return home.

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A quote during the infamous Watergate scandal from a familiar person… During the Nixon era:

"Yes, the president should resign.  He has lied to the American people, time and time again, and betrayed their trust.  He is no longer an effective leader.  Since he has admitted guilt, there is no reason to put the American people through an impeachment.  He will serve absolutely no purpose in finishing out his term; the only possible solution is for the President to save some dignity and resign."William Jefferson Clinton, 1974


A guy walks into a bar and orders a triple scotch. The bartender pours him the drink and the guy swallows it.

"Wow," says the bartender, "Had a rough day?".

"I got off work early today," answered the guy, "went up to the bedroom, and there was my wife having sex with my best friend." The bartender pours the guy another shot.

"This one's on the house". The guy destroys it once again. The bartender asks "Did you say anything to your wife?"

The guy answers, "Yep, I walked up to her, told her we're through."

"What about your friend?" asks the bartender.

"I looked him straight in the eye and said, 'BAD DOG.'"

A murderer, imprisoned for life, broke free after 15 years and was on the run. He broke into a house and tied up the young couple he found in the bedroom; the man to a chair on one side of the room and his wife to the bed. The helpless husband watched him get on the bed, straddle his wife and start to nuzzle her neck. His wife started to move her head violently, at which the man got up and left the room.

The husband squirmed the chair across the room to his young wife and hissed, "Darling, I saw him kissing you. He probably hasn't seen a woman in years. Please cooperate. If he wants to have sex, just go along with it and even pretend you like it. Whatever you do don't fight him or make him mad. Our lives may depend on it!"

"Darling," the wife said, spitting out her gag. "I'm so relieved you feel that way. He wasn't kissing me, he was whispering to me. He told me he thinks you're really cute and asked if we keep the Vaseline in the medicine chest."

via eMail, Thu, 6 Jul 2000 12:02:28 EDT