- If you are choking on an ice cube, don’t panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat.
- Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them.
- Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink.
- High blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a while, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.
- A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep when you hit the snooze button.
- If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.
AND… Sometimes we just need to remember what The Rules of Life really are:
- You need only two tools: WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn’t move and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and shouldn’t, use the duct tape.
- Get the last word in: Apologize