HRH Elizabeth II

The Queen of England was visiting one of Canada's top hospitals, and during her tour of the floors she passed a room where a male patient was masturbating.

"Oh my God," said the Queen, "that's disgraceful, what is the meaning of this?"

The Doctor leading the tour explains; "I am sorry your highness, this man has a very serious condition where the testicles rapidly fill with semen.  If he doesn't do that 5 times a day, they'll explode, and he would die instantly.

"Oh, I am sorry," said the Queen.

On the next floor they passed a room where a young nurse was giving a patient oral sex.

"Oh my God," said the Queen, "What's happening in there?"  The Doctor replied,  "Same problem; better health plan."