My cousin John Treworgy copied me on the following email he sent to his kids/step-kids on Thursday, August 26, 2004 9:50 AM:
I made a big batch of chili on Sunday for breakfast and ate it all day Sunday, all day Tuesday and finished it last night with chips and Homemade salsa I made Monday. Well, this morning it Blew out my intestines, so I am hanging out and fooling around today.
I told Connie I thought I had a contagious Tropical disease I got from an e-mail from Hannah.
Yesterday I stopped by this really junky cement lawn ornament place on a back road in Salisbury. They had hundreds of gargoyles and grasshoppers and lions all hidden in a weed covered lot. I was greeted by a “robust” woman in a Muumuu.
I asked if she had any broken pieces in her collection.
I think she said, “In the back cluther where we smell them, true.”
She didn’t have any teeth so I really don’t know what she actually said.
I thanked her and said, “Great, That’s what I thought!”
I wanted a grasshopper but she wanted $10.00, so I settled for a 12 inch high CEEMENT Jesus with a halo, holding a picture of himself on what looks like a large coin. This appealed to me as his head had been reattached with some kind of Cement putty so it looks like he is wearing a scarf (or maybe a dicky).
He was really wet and moldy, but I have him standing in the sun protecting my JalapeÃ’os and my Cilantro Santos plants on the picnic table.
I feel good because I rescued him from permanent mildew for only three bucks!
After I paid her she told me “I coul clethe that mole by spaything stab blich at it.”
I’m going to wait till he dries.
So, now on to the block printing of the Hu-mu-hu-mu, Nu-ku-nu-ku a pu-a-a.
Dad/John
Which prompted the following exchange:
“if you spay stab blich at the moldy jesus, won’t you go to hell?” Hannah asked.
But. I think I have a “get out of Hell free” card ’cause I SPRUNG FOR THE 3 BUCKS, John replied.
So now you see that the Dr. isn’t the only one who is a little touched.