Investment tips

Are your investments in order? Below are some of the latest rumors from Wall Street. In the wake of the AOL/Time Warner deal, here are the latest mergers we can expect to see:

  • Federal Express and UPS merge to become: FED UP.
  • Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush, and W.R. Grace Company merge to become: Hale Mary Fuller Grace.
  • Polygram Records, Warner Brothers and Keebler Crackers merge to become: Polly-Warner-Cracker.
  • 3M and Goodyear merge to become: MMMGood.
  • John Deere and Abitibi-Price merge to become: Deere Abi.
  • Zippo Manufacturing, Audi Motors, Dofasco, and Dakota Mining merge to become: Zip Audi Do Da.
  • Honeywell, Imasco, and Home Oil merge to become: Honey I'm Home.
  • Denison Mines, and Alliance and Metal Mining merge to become: Mine All Mine.
  • Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers will merge and become: Fairwell Honeychild.
  • 3M, J.C. Penney and the Canadian Opera Company will merge and become: 3 Penney Opera.
  • Knott's Berry Farm & National Organization of Women will merge and become: Knott NOW!
  • Xerox and Wurlitzer will merge and begin manufacturing reproductive organs.
via eMail, Wed, 19 Jan 2000 12:07:12 -0600