Three men had a very late night drinking Guinness. They left in the early morning hours and went home separately.
They met the next day for an early pint, and compared notes about who was drunker the night before.
Bill claims that he was the drunkest, saying, "I drove straight home, walked into the house, and as soon as I got through the door, I blew chunks."
To which Earl replied, "You think that was drunk? I got in my car, drove out of the parking lot, and wrapped my car around the first tree I saw. I don't even have insurance!"
And Dave proclaimed, "I was by far the most drunk. I got home, got in big fight with my wife, knocked a candle over and burned the whole house down!"
They all looked at each other for a moment.
Then Bill says: "Guys, I don't think you understand. Chunks is my dog."