Bob, a lawyer, was driving home over the golden gate bridge after spending a great day out on the ocean fishing.  His catch, cleaned and filleted, was wrapped in newspaper on the passenger side floor.  He was late getting home and was speeding. *Wouldn't you know, a cop jumped out, radar gun in hand, motioned him to the side of the bridge.  Bob pulled over like a good citizen. The cop walked up to the window and said, "You know how fast you were going, Boy?"

Bob thought for a second and said, "Uhh, 60?" "67 mph, son! 67 mph in a 55 zone!" said the cop.

"But if you already knew, officer" replied Bob, "Why did you ask me?"

Fuming over Bob's answer, the officer growled, in his normal sarcastic fashion, " That's speeding, and you're getting a ticket and a fine!"

The cop took a good close look at Bob, in his stained fishing attire and said, "you don't even look like you have a job! Why, I've never seen anyone so scruffy in my entire life!"

Bob answered, "I've got a job! I have a good well paying job!"

The cop leaned in the window, smelling Bob's fish catch, said, "What kind of a job would a bum like you have?"

"I'm a rectum stretcher!" replied Bob.

"What you say, Boy?" asked the patrolman.

"I'm a rectum stretcher!"

The cop, scratching his head, asked, "What does a rectum stretcher do?"

Bob explained, "People call me up and say they need to be stretched, so I go over to their house.  I start with a couple of fingers, then a couple more, and then one whole hand, then two.  Then I slowly pull them farther and farther apart until it's a full six feet across."

The cop, absorbed with these bizarre images in his mind, asked, "What the hell do you do with a six foot asshole?"

Bob nonchalantly answered, "You give it a radar gun and stick it at the end of a bridge!"