Peter Marshall asking the questions.
- Q. Do female frogs croak?
A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough. - Q. If you’re going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be?
A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it. - Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.
A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes. - Q. You’ve been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?
A. Don Knotts: That’s what’s been keeping me awake. - Q. According to Cosmo, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he’s married?
A. Rose Marie: No, wait until morning. - Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency. - Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say “I Love
You”?
A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty. - Q. What are “Do It,” “I Can Help,” and “I Can’t Get Enough”?
A. George Gobel: I don’t know, but it’s coming from the next apartment. - Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while talking?
A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I’ll give you a gesture you’ll never forget. - Q. Paul, why do Hell’s Angels wear leather?
A. Because chiffon wrinkles too easily. - Q. Charley, you’ve just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year?
A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I’m too busy growing strawberries. - Q. In bowling, what’s a perfect score?
A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy. - Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps. One is politics, what is the other?
A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures. -
Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?
A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I’m always safe in the bedroom. - Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out. - Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do?
A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark? - Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?
A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark. - Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?
A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army - Q. While visiting China, your tour guide starts shouting “Poo! Poo! Poo!” What does this mean?
A. George Gobel: Cattle crossing. - Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it?
A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused but it certainly isn’t neglected. - Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do?
A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth. - Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant?
A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant? - Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex?
A. Charley Weaver: I’ll lend him the car, the rest is up to him. - Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?
A. Charley Weaver: His feet - Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in
bed?
A. Paul Lynde: Point and Laugh.