Somebody left a glass of milk next to the keyboard. Reaction?

08/03/2000 Dr Wingnut Computer, Humor Comments Off on Somebody left a glass of milk next to the keyboard. Reaction?
  • Optimist: The glass is half full.
  • Pessimist: The glass is half empty.
  • Pascal programmers: Well, what type of milk is it?
  • C Programmers: No thanks; I drink straight from the jug.
  • Assembly programmers: No thanks; I drink straight from the cow.
  • Basic programmers: No thanks; I'm still breast feeding.
  • SAP programmers: It'll cost you $100 for me to drink that milk.
  • COBOL programmers: My doctor told me not to mix milk with my Geritol.
  • MIS: I'LL DRINK IT IF YOU CAN GIVE ME UNTIL NEXT YEAR.
  • Fuzzy logic guys: I may or may not have drunk some part of that milk.
  • Prolog programmers: I know I drank it – just don't ask me how.
  • Non-procedural language programmers: I drank it when nobody was looking.
  • UI designers: What's that crap in my glass?
  • Pentium users: I drank Glass * .49999999 . . . but don't hold me to that.
  • Windows users: Where's my straw?
  • Mac users: Where's my pump?
  • UNIX users: Nahh . . . too easy.
  • Multimedia author: (slurp!)
  • Shareware game author: That glass is free; the next one you have to pay for.
  • Security consultant: Where'd the rest of the milk go?
  • CIA: What makes you think that's milk?
  • NSA: We know what it really is.
  • Copy protection crazies: Somebody drank half my milk and didn't pay for it!
  • Free Software Foundation: That milk is the cow's contribution to all mankind!
  • Schroedinger: That damned cat got into the milk again!
  • Bill Gates: Not enough market share to be Microsoft Milk.
  • Apple Computer: You guys really oughta be drinking Perrier.
  • IBM: Rent the glass from us and we'll fill it with something we know is good for you.
  • IRS: Thanks for getting your milk witholding correct this year.
  • National news media: Hey, we wanted OJ!