Summer in Arizona!

You know you are in ARIZONA when:

  • You no longer associate bridges (or rivers) with water.
  • You can say 110 degrees without fainting.
  • You eat hot chilies to cool your mouth off.
  • You can make instant sun tea.
  • You learn that a seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.
  • The temperature drops below 95 and you feel a bit chilly.
  • You discover that in July it takes only 2 fingers to drive your car.
  • You discover that you can get sunburn through your car window.
  • You notice the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.
  • Hot water now comes out of both taps.
  • It's noon in July, kids are on summer vacation, and not one person is out on the streets.
  • You actually burn your hand opening the car door.
  • You shiver and get goose-bumps as you get out of the swimming pool.
  • No one would dream of putting vinyl upholstery in a car or not having air conditioning.
  • Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death"?
  • You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.

It's so hot in Arizona:

  • The birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground.
  • The potatoes cook underground and all you have to do to have lunch is to pull one out and add butter, salt and pepper.
  • Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying hard boiled eggs.

It's so dry in Arizona:

  • The cows are giving evaporated milk.
  • The trees are whistlin'? for the dogs.

A sad Arizonan once prayed, "I wish it would rain – not so much for me, cuz I've seen it, but for my 7-year old."