The ten commandments of how to get along with people

  1. Keep skid chains on your tongue.  Always say less than you think.  Cultivate a low, persuasive voice. How you say it often counts more than what you say.
  2. Make promises sparingly and keep them faithfully, no matter what the cost.
  3. Never let an opportunity pass to say a kind and encouraging word to or about somebody. Praise good work, regardless of who did it. If criticism is needed, offer it gently, never harshly.
  4. Be interested in others—their pursuits, their work, their homes and families. Make merry with those who rejoice and weep with those who mourn. Let everyone you meet, however humble, feel that you regard him or her as a person of importance.
  5. Don’t burden or depress those around you by dwelling on your minor aches and pains and small disappointments.  Remember, everyone is carrying some kind of burden, often heavier than your own.
  6. Keep an open mind.  Discuss, but don’t argue.  It is the mark of a superior mind to be able to disagree without being disagreeable.
  7. Let your virtues, if you have any, speak for themselves.  Refuse to talk of other’s vices.  Discourage gossip. It is a waste of valuable time, and can be extremely destructive.
  8. Be careful of another’s feelings.  Wit and humor at another person’s expense may do more damage than you will ever know.
  9. Pay no attention to disparaging remarks.  Remember, the person who carried the message may not be the most accurate reporter in the world, and things become twisted in the retelling.  Simply live so that nobody will believe them.
  10. Don’t be too anxious to get the credit due you.  Do your best, and be patient.  Forget about yourself, and let others “remember”.  Success is much sweeter that way.
Ann Landers, ca. 1977 via email from Jeff Patten, Mon, 19 Nov 2007 11:06:46 -0800