Thoughts on an Honored institution

  • You have two choices in life: You can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish you were dead.
  • At a cocktail party, one woman said to another, “Aren’t you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?”  “Yes, I am. I married the wrong man.”
  • A lady inserted an ‘ad’ in the classifieds: “Husband Wanted.”  Next day she received a hundred letters.  They all said the same thing: You can have mine.”
  • When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.
  • A woman is incomplete until she is married.  Then she is finished.
  • A little boy asked his father, “Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?”
    Father replied, “I don’t know son, I’m still paying.”
  • Young son: “Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa a man doesn’t know his wife until he marries her?”
    Dad: “That happens in every country, son.”
  • Then there was a woman who said, “I never knew what real happiness was until I got married, and by then, it was too late.”
  • Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
  • If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.
  • Just think, if it weren’t for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.
  • First guy: “My wife’s an angel!”
    Second guy: “You’re lucky, mine’s still alive.”
  • Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are attractive to the opposite sex.
via email from John Treworgy, Wed, 9 Mar 2005 10:07:34 -0500