Update on Who's On First

Playwright Jim Sherman wrote this after Hu Jintao was named chief of the Communist Party in China.

HU'S ON FIRST

By James Sherman

(We take you now to the Oval Office.)

George
Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening?
Condi
Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.
George
Great. Lay it on me.
Condi
Hu is the new leader of China.
George
That's what I want to know.
Condi
That's what I'm telling you.
George
That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new leader of China?
Condi
Yes.
George
I mean the fellow's name.
Condi
Hu.
George
The guy in China.
Condi
Hu.
George
The new leader of China.
Condi
Hu.
George
The Chinaman!
Condi
Hu is leading China.
George
Now whaddya' asking me for?
Condi
I'm telling you Hu is leading China.
George
Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China?
Condi
That's the man's name.
George
That's who's name?
Condi
Yes.
George
Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of China?
Condi
Yes, sir.
George
Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle East.
Condi
That's correct.
George
Then who is in China?
Condi
Yes, sir.
George
Yassir is in China?
Condi
No, sir.
George
Then who is?
Condi
Yes, sir.
George
Yassir?
Condi
No, sir.
George
Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China. Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone.
Condi
Kofi?
George
No, thanks.
Condi
You want Kofi?
George
No.
Condi
You don't want Kofi.
George
No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And then get me the U.N.
Condi
Yes, sir.
George
Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.
Condi
Kofi?
George
Milk! Will you please make the call?
Condi
And call who?
George
Who is the guy at the U.N?
Condi
Hu is the guy in China.
George
Will you stay out of China?!
Condi
Yes, sir.
George
And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N.
Condi
Kofi.
George
All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone.
Condi (Condi picks up the phone.)
Rice, here.
George
Rice? Good idea. And a couple of egg rolls, too. Maybe we should send some to the guy in China. And the Middle East. Can you get Chinese food in the Middle East?
via eMail, Wed, 20 Nov 2002 13:19:04 -0700