The linage is finally revealed. Many people are at a loss for a response when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt." Now you can intellectually handle the situation. Jack is the only son of Awe Schitt.
Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N. Schitt, Inc. They had one son, Jack.
In turn, Jack married Noe Schitt. The deeply religious couple produced six children, Holie Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Giva Schitt, Bull Schitt and the twins, Deap Schitt and Dip Schitt. Against her parents' objections, Deap Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout.
However, after being married 15 years, Jack and Noe divorced. Noe Schitt later remarried Ted Sherlock and because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe Schitt Sherlock.
Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt and they produced a son of nervous disposition, Chicken Schitt. Two of the other six children, Fula Schitt and Giva Schitt were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony. The wedding announcements in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens wedding.
The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Bryd and Hoarse. Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned home with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.
So, now when someone says, "You don't know Jack Schitt," you can correct them.
This family history was recorded by Crock O. Schittvia eMail, Mon, 17 Jul 2000 12:24:29 EDT