Y2K Christmas

T'was the week after Christmas
And all through the house not one pc was working not even a mouse.

I turned on the power but nothing was working
I grab the computer and start banging and jerking.

I laid out three grand for this big piece of junk
On january 1st the damn thing went "kerplunk"!

When I threw it out the window it made such a clatter
My neighbor just called to see what's the matter.

I turned on the tv
The cable is down my microwave oven is making weird sounds.

My new vcr is as dead as a rock
Not one light is blinking not even the clock.

It's twenty below the peak of snow season
The furnace won't work the pipes are all freezing
This couldn't have happened at a worse time I think I have frostbite on my behind.

I laughed for a second and thought it all funny
Then a call from my bank in regard to my money.

"we managed your pension and savings with care
But for some odd reason your money's not there
We were Y2K ready we'd thought we'd be heroes
But regret to inform you your balance is..zero"!

I drop the receiver to the bathroom I rush
I push down the handle the toilet won't flush.

I turned on the faucet not one drop hits the sink
I head out the door to the pub for a drink.

I jump in the car turn the key in the switch
It only goes "click" I scream,"son of a bitch!"

A computerized ignition has just sealed my fate
Not set up for the "2000" date.

I twitch like a madman this cannot be true
No car, heat, or money what the hell can I do.

Shouting obscenities as I ran out of sight
Happy Y2K to all it's been one hell of a night!

via eMail, 24 December 1999