- You’ve had arguments over the comparative quality of Fried Dough.
- You call four inches of snow “a dusting.”
- You don’t understand why there aren’t fried clam shacks elsewhere in the county.
- You know what an Irving is and the location of 15 of them.
- You knew all the flavors at Perry’s Nut House.
- Your car is covered in yellow-green dust in May.
- You can drive the Augusta traffic circle without slowing down.
- You’ve hung out at a gravel pit.
- You think a mosquito could be a species of bird.
- You once skipped school and went to Bar Harbor, Old Orchard Beach or Reid State Park.
- Even your school cafeteria made good chowder.
- You’ve almost fallen asleep driving between Houlton and Presque Isle.
- You know how to pronounce Calais.
- You’ve made a meal out of a Jordan’s red dye hot-dog, a bag of Humpty Dumpty potato chips and a can of soda.
- You’ve gone to a Grange bean supper.
- In high school, you (or a friend) packed Deering Ice Cream cones.
- At least once in your life, a seagull pooped on your head.
- At least once in your life you’ve said, “It smells like the mill in here.”
- There’s a fruit and vegetable stand within 10 minutes of your house.
- You crave Italian sandwiches at least weekly.
- Your house converts to a B&B every July and August for people from away that you happen to know.
- All year long you’re tracking sand in the house-from the beach in the summer and the roads and sidewalks in the winter.
- You have to have the sand cleaned out of your brake system every spring.
- You do the majority of your shopping out of Uncle Henry’s.
- You’ve ditched the car on the side of the road somewhere because you thought you saw some good fiddleheads!
- You know a lobster pot is a trap, not a kettle.
- You know not to plant tender crops until the last full moon in May.
- You go to the dump and bring back more than you brought.
- You’ve watched “Murder she Wrote” and snickered at the stupid fake accents.
- You know how to find the rope swing at the quarry.
- You take the New Hampshire toll personally.
- You always wave when you see a Maine license plate in another state.
- When you’re supposed to dress up, you wear flannel with a tie.
- There’s too much “stuff” in your 2 “cah” garage to get either of your cars into it.
- You know what a frappe is.
- L.L. Bean’s not just a store, it’s a way of life.
- “The City” means exclusively Portland.
- “Salt damage” is a viable insurance claim.
- All of the traffic lights blink yellow at 10 o’clock at night.
- It’s not a storm – it’s a Nor’eastah.
- “Open 24/7” might as well be Greek.
- More stores have “Bienvenue” flags than “Welcome” flags.
- You eat ice cream with flavors like ‘Moose Tracks” and “Maine Black Bear”.
- You know that a chocolate doughnut is not a white doughnut with chocolatefrosting.
- You wouldn’t eat beans in tomato sauce or Manhattan clam chowder if you were starving!
- As a child, you played outside in a snow storm without hat, mittens, scarf and with your jacket open because it was just a little cool.
- The area around your back door is referred to as “the dooryard”.
- You eat potato chips with flavors such as “clam dip”, “ketchup” and “dill pickle”.
- You call the basement “downcellah.”
- There is only one shopping plaza in town.
- You use “wicked” as a multipurpose part of speech
- Your pickup has more mud on it then the ground around it for a 15 foot radius.
- More than 1/2 the meat in your freezer is moose.
- You enjoy a hot chocolate more than a margarita.
- If your “luxury vehicle” is a twelve-year-old rustbucket on wheels.
- If your dog eats better than you do, and more often too.
- If you never say what you paid for an item but how much you “give” for it.
- You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Maine.
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Andrew and I LOVE the Maine jokes. Thanks for a great laugh! (And we love Moose Tracks).