HoW To KeEp A HeaLthY LeVel Of iNsAniTy aNd dRiVe OtHeR PeOple iNsAnE

  1. At lunchtime, sit in your parked car and point a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
  2. Insist that your e mail address be “Elvis-the-King@companyname.com.”
  3. In the memo field of all your checks, write, “for sexual favors”
  4. Reply to everything someone says with, “That’s what you think.”
  5. Finish all your sentences with “In accordance with the prophecy.”
  6. Adjust the tint on your monitor so that the brightness level lights up the entire working area.  Insist to others that you like it that way.
  7. Don’t use any punctuation
  8. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
  9. Ask people what sex they are.
  10. Specify that your drive through order is “to go.”
  11. Sing along at the opera.
  12. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don’t rhyme.
  13. Put mosquito netting around your cubicle.
  14. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.
  15. AnD tHe FiNal wAy tO aNnOy PeOple:
    Send this e-mail to everyone in your address book, even if they sent it to you.

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