Dr Wingnut

Month: March 2000

  • People

    —

    by

    Dr Wingnut
    in

    People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered; Forgive them anyway.If you are kind, People may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives; Be kind anyway.If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies; Succeed anyway.If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you; Be honest and frank anyway.What you spend…

  • Last page of the internet

    —

    by

    Dr Wingnut
    in

    Last page of the internetvia eMail, Fri, 24 Mar 2000 22:24:36 -0600

  • Quotable that really make sense

    —

    by

    Dr Wingnut
    in ,

    Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?  Answer: I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever.Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest"Whenever…

  • Careful what you wish for

    —

    by

    Dr Wingnut
    in

    Two Irishmen, Patrick & Michael, were adrift in a lifeboat following a dramatic escape from a burning freighter. While rummaging through the boat's provisions, Patrick stumbled across an old lamp. Secretly hoping that a genie would appear, he rubbed the lamp vigorously. To the amazement of Patrick, a genie came forth.This particular genie, however, stated…

  • A groaner

    —

    by

    Dr Wingnut
    in

    "Doc," the patient says, "I keep seeing talking crickets, talking dogs, talking birds, talking cats.What's wrong with me?""Nothing at all," the doctor answers."You're just having Disney spells."via eMail, Wed, 22 Mar 2000 17:11:11 -0600

  • Price per gallon

    —

    by

    Dr Wingnut
    in

    This is what it costs to buy a gallon of…..Diet Snapple 16oz for $1.29 = $10.32 a gallonLipton Iced Tea 16 oz for $1.19 = $9.52 a gallonGatorade 20 oz for $1.59 = $10.17 a gallonOcean Spray 16 oz for $1.25 = $10.00 a gallonSTP brake fluid 12 oz for $3.15 = $33.60 a gallonVick's…

  • How an 8 year old Explain's God

    —

    by

    Dr Wingnut
    in

    We all have our own reasons for why we believe in God. This is by far the most amusing. Written by Danny Dutton, age 8, from Chula Vista, CA, for his third grade homework assignment to explain God.Explaining Godby Danny DuttonOne of God's main jobs is making people. He makes them to replace the ones…