Day: August 3, 2000

I know, I know, its beat up on paco day, but tell me you couldn’t see him doing this, shall I remind you of death of a sperm?READ THIS JOKE ONLY IF YOU HAVE AN IRON STOMACH:A little girl and her mother walking through the park one day and they saw two teenagers having sex…

We all know those cute little computer symbols called "emoticons," Where 🙂 means a smile and 🙁 is a frown. Sometimes these are represented by 🙂 and 🙁 respectively.  Well, how about some "asscons"?Here goes:AssconDescription(_!_)a regular ass(__!__)a fat ass (!)a tight ass(_._)a flat ass(_^_)a bubble ass(_*_)a sore ass(_!__)a lop-sided assFIXMEa swishy ass(_o_)an ass that's been…

This guy wakes up one morning to find a gorilla in his tree. He Looks in the phone book for a gorilla removal service until he finds one."Is it a boy or girl Gorilla?" the service guy asks."Boy," is the man's response."Oh yeah, I can do it. I'll be right there", says the service guy.An…

Ol' Fred had been a faithful Christian and was in the hospital, near death. The family called their preacher to stand with them.As the preacher stood next to the bed, Ol' Fred's condition appeared to deteriorate and he motioned frantically for something to write on.The pastor lovingly handed him a pen and a piece of…

Joe woke up one morning and looked for his wife,but his wife wasn't there. She had awakened and was preparing breakfast in the kitchen.  Joe was afraid he might spoil 'the moment' by getting up, so he called his little boy and sent this note to his wife:THE TENT POLE IS UP,THE CANVAS IS SPREAD,THE…

I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.I AM in shape. Round's a shape.I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.Ever wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?I always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.Did you ever notice when you…

The language folks who brought us "Ebonics," have decided to pursue some of the seemingly endless taxpayer pipeline through Washington by designating Southern slang, or "Hickphonics," as a language to be taught in all Southern schools. A speaker of this language would be a Hickophone. Th e following are excerpts from the Hickphonics/English dictionary:HEIDINoun.  Greeting.HIRE…