Month: August 2000

This truck driver hauling a tractor-trailer load of computers stops for a beer.  As he approaches the bar he sees a big sign on the door saying "NERDS NOT ALLOWED-ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK!"He goes in and sits down. The bartender comes over to him, sniffs, says he smells kind of nerdy, asks him what…

His name was Fleming, and he was a poor Scottish farmer.  One day, while trying to make a living for his family, he heard a cry for help coming from a nearby bog. He dropped his tools and ran to the bog.  There, mired to his waist in black muck, was a terrified boy, screaming…

I have a list of folks I know…all written in a book,And every now and then..I go and take a look.That is when I realizethese names… they are a part,not of the book they're written in…but taken from the heart.For each Name stands for someone…who has crossed my path sometime,and in that meeting they have…

Here's a little something I found in the newpaper this morning that I thought would start your week off right (?)…Stephen Spielberg was discussing his new project, an epic on classical music composers, with Sylvester Stallone, Bruce Willis, Steven Segal and Arnold Schwarzenegger. Spielberg strongly desired the box office "oomph" of these superstars, so he…

You can never tell which way the train went by looking at the track.Logic is a systematic method of coming to the wrong conclusion with confidence.Technology is dominated by those who manage what they do not understand.If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization.An…

This is an actual alert to IBM field engineers that went out to all IBM branch offices.  The person who wrote it was very serious.  The rest of us, find it very funny.Abstract: Mouse Balls available as FRUMouse Balls are now available as FRU.  Therefore, if a mouse fails to operate or should perform erratically,…

Dear Sir:My friend in Ute, Iowa received a check for $1000 from the government for not raising 50 hogs. So, I want to go into the "not raising hogs" business next year. What I want to know is, in your opinion, what is the best kind of farm not to raise hogs on, and what…