Month: August 2000

Bad: You can't find your vibrator.Worse: Your daughter "borrowed" it.Bad: You find a porn movie in your son's room.Worse: You're in it.Bad: Your children are sexually active.Worse: With each other.Bad: Your husband's a crossdresser. Worse: He looks better than you.Bad: Your son's involved in Satanism.Worse: As a sacrifice.Bad: Your wife wants a divorce.Worse: She's a…

You knew they were coming…What's the new Kennedy documentary?  Three Funerals and A Wedding.Why didnt JFK shower before the plane flight?  He figured he'd just wash up on shore.What did John say when he reached the pearly gates?  I hope I don't have to take an entrance exam.What was JFK Jr's favorite movie?  Splash.Where do…

A newlywed farmer and his wife were visited by her mother, who immediately demanded an inspection of the place. The farmer had genuinely tried to be friendly to his new mother-in-law, hoping that it could be a friendly, non-antagonistic relationship. All to no avail though, as she kept nagging them at every opportunity, demanding changes,…

A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts:"Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?" The man below says: "yes you're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field.""You…

A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he's drinking, the monkey starts jumping all over the place. The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them, then grabs some sliced limes and eats them,then jumps up on the pool table, grabs the cue ball,…

It is near the end of the school year.  The teacher has turned in her grades. There is really nothing to do.  All the kids are restless because there is nothing to do and it is near the end of the day.The teacher says, "Whoever answers the questions I ask first and correctly can leave…

This is the official moron test.  It is based upon typical graduation requirements at Harvard.  Try to finish within 2 minutes.  When you are done, count the number correct and see how you compare to others.  Here you go… morons unite!!!!Is there a Fourth of July in England? Yes or NoHow many birthdays does the…