Dr Wingnut

Month: December 2000

  • Instructions for Life

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    Dr Wingnut
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    Instructions for Life in the new millennium from the Dalai Lama:Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk.When you lose, don't lose the lesson.Follow the three R's:Respect for selfRespect for othersResponsibility for all your actionsRemember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.Learn the rules so…

  • Bubba Santa

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    Dr Wingnut
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    I regret to inform you that, effective immediately, I will no longer be able to serve the Southern United States on Christmas Eve. Due to the overwhelming current population of the earth, my contract was renegotiated by North American Fairies and Elves Local 209. I now serve only certain areas of Ohio, Indiana, Illinois, Wisconsin…

  • Reindeer

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    Dr Wingnut
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    According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year (the only members of the deer family, Cervidae, to have females do so), male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid December. Female reindeer retain their…

  • News Break… Film at 11

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    Dr Wingnut
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    "Slain Doctor Worried About His Death""There's an overturned tractor-trailer heading north on Route 93.""The bodies could not be identified because they were found face down.""Local construction is making it hazardous to drive in some areas of our city. We'll tell you which to avoid on the way home on news tonight at 9:30.""Doctors say the…

  • How Old Are You REALLY?

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    Dr Wingnut
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    Name the 4 Beatles. _____ _____ _____ _____.Finish the line: "Lions and Tigers and Bears, _____ _____!""Hey kids, what time is it?" _____ _____ _____ _____.What do M&M's do? _____ _____. _____ _____, _____ _____ _____ _____.What helps build strong bodies 12 ways?_____ _____.Long before he was Mohammed Ali, we knew him as _____ _____.You'll…

  • Holiday Personality Disorders

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    Dr Wingnut
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    Paging Dr. Freud… Please report to the employee lounge.SchizophreniaDo You Hear What I Hear?Multiple PersonalityWe Three Kings Disoriented Are.DementiaI Think I'll Be Home For Christmas.NarcissisticHark The Herald Angels Sing (About Me)ManiaDeck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town … or Deck the Halls and Spare No…

  • How to please a woman…

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    Dr Wingnut
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    In the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy.Do something she likes, and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don't get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that's the way the game is played.Here is a guide to the point system: CategoryTaskActionPointsSimple Duties:Making…