Dr Wingnut

Year: 2004

  • Remember The Original Hollywood Squares?

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    Peter Marshall asking the questions.Q. Do female frogs croak?A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.Q. If you’re going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be?A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.Q. True or False, a pea can last as long…

  • How old is Grandma?

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    One evening a grandson was talking to his grandmother about current events.  The grandson asked his grandmother what she thought about the shootings at schools, the computer age, and just things in general.The Grandma replied, “Well, let me think a minute, I was born, before television, penicillin, polio shots, frozen foods, Xerox, contact lenses, Frisbees…

  • Rumor too close to phone home

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    BOINC’d by Aliens: Reader Greg A. warns that users running the SETI@home screen saver may be vulnerable to alien invasions. The SETI project, which uses the spare clock-cycles of 4.7 million machines to search the heavens for intelligent life, recently switched to a client based on the Berkeley Open Infrastructure for Network Computing (or BOINC…

  • Onestone

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    This was his Indian name given to him because he had only one testicle.After years and years of this torment Onestone cracked and said, “If anyone calls me Onestone again I will kill them!” The word got around and nobody called him that any more.Then one day a young girl named Blue Bird forgot and…

  • Where’s my Wife?

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    A man approached a very beautiful woman in the large supermarket and said, “I’ve lost my wife here in the supermarket.  Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?”The woman looked puzzled. “Why talk to me?” she asked.“Because every time I talk to a woman with tits like yours, my wife appears out…

  • Mother Superior

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    Sister Mary Katherine lived in a convent, a block away from Jack’s liquor store.  One day, in walked Sister Mary K. and said, “Oh, Jack, give me a pint o’ the brandy.”“Sister Mary Katherine,” exclaimed Jack, “I could never do that!  I have never sold alcohol to a nun in my life!”“Oh Jack,” she responded,…

  • Quote of the Century

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    I voted Republican this year.  The Democrats left a bad taste in my mouth.Monica Lewinskyvia email from Bob Rosen, Fri, 18 Jun 2004 22:14:06 -0500