- When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive… so, I took her to a gas station…. And that’s how the fight started.
- I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95. Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95. I told her, “The beer will make her look better at night than the cold cream.” And that’s how the fight started.
- My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table. My wife asked, “Do you know her?” “Yes,” I sighed, “She’s my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn’t been sober since.” “My God!” says my wife, “Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?” And that’s how the fight started.
- I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first. “I’ll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.” He said, “Aren’t you worried about the mad cow?” “Nah, she can order for herself.” And that’s how the fight started.
Some other fights are: Retirement, and Accident