Dr Wingnut

Author: Dr Wingnut

  • Golf game

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    Dr Wingnut
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    A man takes the day off work and decides to go out golfing.  He is on the second hole when he notices a frog sitting next to the green.  He thinks nothing of it and is about to shoot when he hears, “Ribbit 9 Iron.”The man looks around and doesn’t see anyone.Again, he hears, “Ribbit…

  • Revised Words of Wisdom:

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    Dr Wingnut
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    Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either. Just leave me the hell alone.The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt or a leaky tire.It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're…

  • Why I am tired.

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    Dr Wingnut
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    For a couple years I've been blaming it on lack of sleep, too much pressure from my job, but now I found out the real reason: I'm tired because I'm overworked. Here's why:The population of this country is 273 million. 140 million are retired. That leaves 133 million to do the work.There are are 85…

  • About the rocks

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    Dr Wingnut
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    A philosophy professor stood before his class and had some items in front of him. When class began, wordlessly he picked up a large empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with rocks, rocks about 2" in diameter. He then asked the students if the jar was full? They agreed that it was.So the…

  • A special present

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    Dr Wingnut
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    Sometimes, we wonder why friends keep forwarding jokes to us without writing a word, maybe this could explain:When you are very busy, but still want to keep in touch, guess what you do — you forward jokes.When you have nothing to say, but still want to keep contact, you forward jokes.When you have something to…

  • Bigshot Lawyers

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    Dr Wingnut
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    A Texas lawyer and a New York lawyer were sitting together on a plane. The Texas lawyer was trying to impress the New Yorker with the size of his ranch. He said "Let me put it this way. If I get in my car when the sun comes up, and I drive all day long,…

  • Frequent flier?

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    Dr Wingnut
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    Occasionally, airline attendants make an effort to make the "in-flight safety lecture" and their other announcements a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported:From a Southwest Airlines employee… "There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane…"Pilot-"Folks, we…