Author: Dr Wingnut

There was an old married couple that had happily lived together for nearly forty years.  The only friction in their marriage was caused by the husband's habit of breaking wind nearly every morning as he awoke.The noise would always wake up his wife and the smell would cause her eyes to water as she would…

GENERAL DISCLAIMER FOR ANY WIVES OR GIRLFRIENDS WHO HAPPEN UPON A COPY OF THIS:The floor is considered an acceptable clothing storage location.Never ask me to purchase feminine products. Assume that I will come home with the wrong thing.When watching TV hugging is always fine because I can still see the screen.  Kissing should only be…

Administrative MemoTo all Employees: The beatings will continue until morale improves.Dakota tribal wisdom says that when you discover you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount. However, in business we often try other strategies with dead horses, including the following:Buying a stronger whip.Changing riders.Say things like, "This is the way we…

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I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison control center. Today, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She…

These Franciscan friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise funds.Since everyone liked to buy flowers from men of God, the rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair.  He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not.  He went back and…

A lawyer and a blonde woman are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde is tired and just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over…