Author: Dr Wingnut

Sheep don't have a gag reflex, or upper teethYou can get a better grip on a sheep's earSheep don't shy away from boots and leatherCotton mouth is easier to get rid of than a social diseaseNuttin' beats muttonSheep won't argue about whose turn it is to go get a towelSheep won't drink your liquor, smoke…

From:   Lynn ShowalterSent:   Monday, September 28, 1998 8:29 AMTo:     Carie LaClare; Home OfficeSubject:        RE: Carie on the phoneDo you mean courtesy?——Original Message——From:   Carie LaClareSent:   Monday, September 28, 1998 8:24 AMTo:     Home Office Subject:        Carie on the phoneWhen you walk by my desk, please make sure I am not on the phone before talking to me.  I know it is hard to tell, but it is…

SO, THERE'S THIS MAN FROM BOSTON…  and he dies and goes to hell.  When he gets there, the devil comes over to welcome him.  The Devil then says, "Sometimes it gets pretty uncomfortable down here."  The Man says, "No problem, I'm from Boston."So the devil goes over to the thermostat, turns the temperature up to…

So your daughter’s a hooker,and it spoiled your day…Look at the bright side,she’s a really good lay.My tire was thumping….I thought it was flat… when I looked at the tire….I noticed your cat… SorryYou had your bladder removedand you’re on the mends … here’s a bouquet of flowersand a box of Depends.You’ve announced that you’re…

He said, "I'm going to chop off the bottom of one of your trouser legs and put it in a library." I thought, "That's a turn-up for the books."And the back of his anorak was leaping up and down, and people were chucking money to him.  I said, "Do you earn a living doing that?"…

KAY MARTIN, a secretary to a New Zealand MP, got the fright of her life a few weeks ago. According to the Auckland Sunday Star, she and a friend were chatting over a drink when they heard a chicken squawking. The bird sounded in some distress, so they went outside to investigate, thinking perhaps that…

There are these friends who play golf together every Saturday. Well, one Saturday they were getting ready to tee off when a guy, by himself, asked them if he could join them. The friends looked at each other and then looked at the man and said it was OK. So they teed off. About two…