Author: Dr Wingnut
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Verbal skills
A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: “Duh.”Conan O’Brien
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Ode to New England
It’s winter in New EnglandAnd the gentle breezes blow,70 miles per hour at 52 below!Oh, how I love New EnglandWhen the snow’s up to your butt.You take a breath of winter airAnd your nose, it freezes shut.Yes, the weather here is wonderful,So I guess I’ll hang around.But I could never leave New England‘Cause I’m frozen…
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Talent
If you have great talents, industry will improve them; if you have but moderate abilities, industry will supply their deficiency.Sir Joshua Reynolds
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Learning to swim
My Mom said she learned how to swim when someone took her out in the lake and threw her off the boat. I said, “Mom, they weren’t trying to teach you how to swim.”Paula Poundstone
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Letters to Santa
Deer santa:I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. Iv ben a gud boy all yeer.Yer Frend,BiLLyDear Billy,Nice spelling. You’re on your way to a career in lawn care. How about I send you a f gging book so you can learn to read and write? I’m giving your older brother the space…
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Bring chips
A little boy wanted to meet God. He knew it was a long trip to where God lived, so he packed his suitcase with a bag of potato chips and a six-pack of root beer and started his journey.When he had gone about three blocks, he met an old woman. She was sitting in the…