Author: Dr Wingnut
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250 (More) Ways to Annoy Your Roommate
Make brown-bag lunches for your roommate every morning. Give them to him/her before s/he goes to class. Every time you enter the room, sit in a chair, lean back too far, and fall over backwards. Laugh hysterically for about ten minutes. Then, one day, repeat the falling-over exercise, but instead of laughing, get up, look…
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Communicating
Constantly talking isn’t necessarily communicating.Joel Barish, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
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Success
The [application] development isn’t successful if the infrastructure team that builds the physical system isn’t successful. The infrastructure team isn’t successful if the operations team doesn’t know how to measure the system. They all are measured in their success based on the final impact to the business.Wal-Mart CIO Linda Dillman
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250 Ways to Annoy Your Roommate
Smoke jimson weed. Do whatever comes naturally. Switch the sheets on your beds while s/he is at class. Twitch a lot. Talk while pretending to be asleep. Steal a fishtank. Fill it with beer and dump sardines in it. Talk to them. Become a subgenius. Inject his/her Twinkies with a mixture of Dexatrim and MSG.…
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The new holiday
Last week, we stopped in the Radio Shack near our house to see if they had some doodad or other that was necessary for life. While the rest of the family went in search of the doodad, I was standing near the Virgin Mobile phone display; and noticed that apparently there is a new holiday…
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Enunciate
A man is lying in bed in the hospital with an oxygen mask over his face. A young nurse appears to sponge his hands and feet. “Nurse,” he mumbles from behind the mask, “are my testicles black?”Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, “I don’t know, I’m only here to wash your hands and feet.”He struggles again…
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Choosing
If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant’s life, she will choose to save the infant’s life without even considering if there is a man on base.Dave Barry