Category: Humor

Essential vocabulary additions for the workplace (and elsewhere)… SEAGULL MANAGER:A manager, who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.ASSMOSIS:The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.SALMON DAY:The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream…

President Bush was scheduled to worship at a small Methodist Church outside Washington, D.C. as part of Karl Rove’s campaign to reverse Bush’s rapidly deteriorating approval ratings.  A week before the visit, Rove called on the Methodist Bishop who was scheduled to preach on the chosen Sunday.“As you know, Bishop,” began Rove, “we’ve been getting…

Press Release(Feb 18, 2006)The Texas Parks and Wildlife Department issued a statement today saying Vice President Cheney broke no law by shooting a lawyer instead of a quail over the weekend.A TPWD spokesman noted that, in Texas, lawyers are not considered game creatures, and are thus not subject to seasonal limitations or bag limits.  It…

… And well worth the wait!An Irishman, a Mexican and a Blonde Guy were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building.They were eating lunch and the Irishman said, “Corned beef and cabbage!  If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch, I’m going to jump off this…

If you don’t understand the Democrats’ version of tax cuts (and you are not alone), maybe this will help explain it:50,000 people go to a baseball game, but the game was rained out.  A refund was then due.The team was about to mail refunds when the Congressional Democrats stopped them and suggested that they send…

Dick Cheney has declared open season on lawyers.  You can get your permit, unlike Dick who apparently doesn’t need one.  Get your Cheney swag from Deadeye Dick Cheney’s Gun Club!via email from Duane McDowell, Thu, 16 Feb 2006 11:51:25 -0800

I went to the doctor for my yearly physical.  She starts with certain basics.“How much do you weigh?” she asks.“115,” I say.The nurse puts me on the scale.  It turns out my weight is 140.“Your height?”“5 foot 8,” I say.The nurse checks and sees that I only measure 5′ 5″.She then takes my blood pressure…