Category: Humor

The Georges go fishing after hurricane Katrina visits New Orleans.via email from Julie Kaupa, Mon, 12 Sep 2005 12:00:03 -0700

No one is listening until you fart.Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day  Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.Don’t worry; it only seems kinky the first time.We are born naked, wet and hungry and get slapped on our butt. …

Dear Dogs and Cats, When I say to move, it means go someplace else, not switch positions with each other so there are still two of you in the way.The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food.  The other dishes are mine and contain my food.  Please note, placing a paw…

via email from Duane McDowell, Fri, 9 Sep 2005 13:13:11 -0500

If you are Obsessive-Compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.If you are Co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.If you have Multiple Personalities, press 3, 4, 5, and 6.If you are Paranoid, we know who you are.  Stay on the line so we can trace your call.If you are Delusional, press 7, and your call will…

I recently picked a new primary care physician.  After two visits and exhaustive lab tests, he said I was doing “fairly well for my age.”A little concerned about that comment, I couldn’t resist asking him, “Do you think I’ll live to be 80?”He asked, “Well, do you smoke tobacco or drink beer/wine?”“Oh no,” I replied. …

Lacking fins or tailthe gefilte fish swims withgreat difficulty.Beyond Valium,the peace of knowing one’s childis an internist.PassoverLeft the door openfor the Prophet Elijah.Now our cat is gone.After the warm rainthe sweet smell of camellias.Did you wipe your feet?Her lips near my ear,Aunt Sadie whispers the nameof her friend’s disease.Today I am a man.Tomorrow I will…