Category: Humor
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Porn police
One of the things that I am responsible for at the office is reviewing the email that my filtering vendor MessageLabs identifies as possible porn. This one came in on 15 February. Looks like a good hit to me. Ah, to live if California…
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Physicians vs guns
Physicians:The number of physicians in the U.S. is 700,000.Accidental deaths caused by Physicians per year are 120,000.Accidental deaths per physician is 0.171.(Statistics courtesy of U.S. Dept of Health & Human Services)Guns: The number of gun owners in the U.S. is 80,000,000.The number of accidental gun deaths per year (all age groups) is 1,500.The number of…
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Lawyers
These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.Q: Are you sexually active?A: No, I just lie there.Q: What is…
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No pun intended
Two vultures board an airplane; each is carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at them and says, “I’m sorry, gentlemen, only one carrion allowed per passenger.”I put ten different puns here hoping at least one would make you laugh. If not, I’m sorry but no pun in ten did.via email from John Treworgy, Thu,…
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Seasonal cheer… (hic!)
Paddy, the famous Irishman, is driving home after downing a few at the local pub. He turns a corner and much to his horror he sees a tree in the middle of the road. He swerves to avoid it. But, almost too late realizes hat there is yet another tree directly in his path. He…
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Guys’ Rules
We always hear “the rules” from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note…these are all numbered “1” on purpose!Rule #1Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You…