Category: Humor

You have two choices in life: You can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish you were dead.At a cocktail party, one woman said to another, “Aren’t you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?”  “Yes, I am. I married the wrong man.”A lady inserted an ‘ad’ in the classifieds: “Husband…

The Washington Post’s Mensa Invitational once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.  Here are 2004’s winners.IntaxicationEuphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.ReintarnationComing back to life as…

Amy, a blonde city girl, marries a farmer.  One morning, before he goes out to the fields, the farmer says to her, “The Artificial Insemination man is coming to impregnate one of our cows today.  I drove a nail into the two-by-four above the cow’s stall.  You show him where it is, okay?”So the farmer…

The following short quiz consists of 4 questions and will tell you whether you are qualified to be a professional.  Scroll down for each answer.  The questions are not that difficult.  But don’t scroll down until you have answered the question!How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?The correct answer is: Open the refrigerator,…

Ya shure, Ya betcha!  Dis is da latest air service to sprout up in Minnysota.  Also serving Visconsin, Nort and Sout Dakota.If you are travelin soon, consider Lutran (Lutheran) Air, da no-frills airline.You’re all in da same boat on Lutran Air, where flyin is a upliftin experience.Dere is no first class on any Lutran Air…

He didn’t like the casseroleAnd he didn’t like my cake.My biscuits were too hardNot like his mother used to make.I didn’t perk the coffee right,He didn’t like the stew,I didn’t mend his socksLike his mother use to do.I pondered for an answerAs I was looking for a clue.Then I turned around and smacked himLike his…

These are entries to a Washington Post competition asking for a rhyme with the most romantic first line, but the least romantic second line:Love may be beautiful, love may be blissBut I only slept with you, because I was pissed.I thought that I could love no otherUntil, that is, I met your brother.Roses are red,…