Category: Humor

via email from Jay Lord, Thu, 16 Sep 2004 12:37:10 +0000

On May 22 I posted the preliminary schedule for the 2004 Republican National Committee Convention Schedule New York, NY.  Apparently some changes were made and I just got the final agenda:6:00pm – Opening prayer6:15pm – Supplementary opening prayer6:30pm – Prayer in thanks of first two prayers6:45pm – New energy policy presented by Exxon7:00pm – Canonization…

Your house plants are alive, and you can’t smoke any of them.Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.You keep more food than beer in the fridge.6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed.You hear your favorite song on an elevatorYou watch the Weather Channel.Your friends marry…

First-year students at Medical School were receiving their first anatomy class with a real dead human body.  They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a white sheet.The professor started the class by telling them, “In medicine, it is necessary to have two important qualities as a doctor:The first is that…

Very valuable for those ‘awkward’ moments where you want to end a conversation before it starts.Two strangers were seated next to each other on the plane.  The guy turned to the cute blonde next to him and made his move.“Let’s talk.” He said. “I’ve heard that flights will go quicker if you strike up a…

A husband is at home watching a football game when his wife interrupts, “Honey, could you fix the light in the hallway?  It’s been flickering for weeks now.”He look at her and says angrily, “Fix the lights now?  Does it look like I have GE written on my forehead?  I don’t think so.”“Fine,” she says. …

Mr. Johnson had been retired for a year when his wife of 50 years suggested they take a cruise: “We could go somewhere for a week, and make wild love like we did when we were young!”  He thought it over and agreed.  He put on his hat and went down to the pharmacy, where…