Dr Wingnut

Category: Humor

  • Warning label

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    Dr Wingnut
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    Went to Target yesterday to purchase a new cup for the bathroom.  I took the following sticker off the side:DISWASHER SAFE TOP RACK ONLY.NOT RECOMMENDED FOR USE IN MICROWAFE OVEN.DO NOT POUR THE BOILING WATER INTO THE MERCHANDISE.MADE IN TAIWAN.I just love these translated labels.  Someone from intergalactic HQ must have checked the first two,…

  • Never a good word

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    Dr Wingnut
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    Stan and Marcia were 85 years old, and had been married for sixty years.  Though they were far from rich, they managed to get by because they watched their pennies.  Though not young, they were both in very good health, largely due to the wife’s insistence on healthy foods and exercise for the last decade.…

  • The politburo in session

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    Dr Wingnut
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    A recovering alcoholic is shipwrecked miles out to sea.  He winds up on an uncharted, deserted island and has to make the best of it.  Five years later, he finally spots a ship out on the horizon and stokes up his bonfire to get its attention.The captain of the ship, another recovering alcoholic, sees the…

  • Globalization

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    Question: What is the truest definition of Globalization?Answer: Princess Diana’s death.Question: How come?Answer: An English princess with an Egyptian boyfriend crashes in a French tunnel, driving a German car with a Dutch engine, driven by a Belgian who was drunk on Scottish whisky, (check the bottle before you change the spelling) followed closely by Italian…

  • Practicality

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    Boudreaux’s twenty-one-year-old daughter tells her parents she has missed her period for two months. Very worried, they go to the drugstore and to buy a pregnancy kit.  The test result shows that the girl is pregnant.Shouting, cursing, crying, Boudreaux says, “Who was the pig that did this to you? “I want to know!”The girl picks up…

  • As I Mature

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    Dr Wingnut
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    I’ve learned that you cannot make someone love you.  All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.I’ve learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just assholes.I’ve learned that it takes years to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.I’ve…

  • Old age

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    Dr Wingnut
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    An old farmer in Kansas had owned a large farm with a nice pond in the back 40.  It was fixed up nice: picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees.One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond and look it over, as he hadn’t been there for a…