Category: Humor

We have been notified by Building Security that there have been 4 suspected terrorists working at our office. Three of the four have been apprehended. Bin Sleepin, Bin Loafin, and Bin Drinkin have been taken into custody. Security advised us they could find no one fitting the description of the fourth cell member, Bin Workin,…

Original letter:The date of the attack: 9/11 – 9 + 1 + 1 = 11September 11th is the 254th day of the year: 2 + 5 + 4 = 11 AfterSeptember 11th there are 111 days left to the end of the year.119 is the area code to Iraq/Iran. 1 + 1 + 9 =…

A friend of mine sent me this delicious suggestion for how to obtain justice once we get our hands on Bin Ladin:What to do with Osama bin Laden?Killing him will only create a martyr. Holding him prisoner will inspire his comrades to take hostages to demand his release.Therefore, I suggest we do neither.Let the Special…

Osama Bin Laden phoned President George W. Bush."I had a dream about the United States," he said. "I could see the whole country, and over every building and home was a banner," says bin Laden."What was on these banners?" asks Mr. Bush."LONG LIVE OSAMA!" answered the terrorist."I'm so glad that you called," says President Bush,…

Take all American women who are +/-5 years of menopause. Train us for a few weeks, outfit us with automatic weapons, grenades, gas masks, prozac, hormones, SPAM, etc. Drop us (parachuted, preferably) across the landscape of Afghanistan, and let us do what comes naturally.Think about it. Our anger quotient alone, even when doing standard stuff…

I have been guilty of telling a now-infamous story about a statement Dan Quayle supposedly made following a trip to Latin America, and it appears that this story was not true. However, it appears that many of his other flub quotes have been quite true. Consequently, for the record, the following appears to be the…

Mr. Language Person takes a hammer to grammarWelcome to another episode of "Ask Mister Language Person," the column written by the language expert who recently won the World Wrestling Federation Grammar Smackdown when he kneed William Safire right in the gerunds.Our first language question comes from an extremely high federal official, who asks:Q. What are…