Category: Humor

The GOP National Committee announced today that it is changing the Republican emblem from an elephant to a condom because it more clearly reflects the party's political stance. A condom stands up to inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pricks, and gives one a sense of security while screwing others.via…

PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIALI CAME ACROSS YOUR NAME IN MY LATE FATHERS ADDRESS BOOKLET, IN MY SEARCH FOR AN HONEST PERSON WHO WILL ASSIST ME IMPLEMENT THE INVESTMENT INSTRUCTION AS LEFT FOR ME BY MY LATE FATHER-HON. ZAKARAMA CHIADIKA OF THE BLESSED MEMORY.IN A BRIEF INTRODUCTION, I AM THE FIRST SON OF MY FATHER, HE WAS…

A young woman had been taking golf lessons. She had just started playing her first round of golf when she suffered a bee sting. The pain was so intense that she decided to return to the clubhouse.Her golf pro saw her come into the clubhouse and asked, "Why are you back so early? What's wrong?""I…

A couple lived near the ocean and used to walk the beach a lot. One summer they noticed a girl who was at the beach pretty much every day. She wasn't unusual, nor was the travel bag she carried,except for one thing; she would approach people who were sitting on the beach, glance around furtively,…

I’ve heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life.  Is this true?Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that’s it.  Everything wears out eventually.  Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that’s like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster.  Want to live longer? …

An old, bearded shepherd with a crooked staff walked up to a stone pulpit and said, "And lo, it came to pass that the trader by the name of Abraham.Com did take unto himself a young wife by the name of Dot."And Dot Com was a comely woman, broad of shoulder and long of leg.…

I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just assholes.I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.I've…