Dr Wingnut

Category: Humor

  • Powerball Winner?

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    A guy named Joe finds himself in dire trouble. His business started going bust and he found himself in serious financial trouble. He was so desperate that he decided to pray for help."Oh Lord, please help me, I've lost my business and if I don't get some money, I'm going to lose my house as…

  • Red sox

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    SO, THERE'S THIS MAN FROM BOSTON…  and he dies and goes to hell.  When he gets there, the devil comes over to welcome him.  The Devil then says, "Sometimes it gets pretty uncomfortable down here."  The Man says, "No problem, I'm from Boston."So the devil goes over to the thermostat, turns the temperature up to…

  • Somebody left a glass of milk next to the keyboard. Reaction?

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    Dr Wingnut
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    Optimist: The glass is half full.Pessimist: The glass is half empty.Pascal programmers: Well, what type of milk is it?C Programmers: No thanks; I drink straight from the jug. Assembly programmers: No thanks; I drink straight from the cow. Basic programmers: No thanks; I'm still breast feeding.SAP programmers: It'll cost you $100 for me to drink…

  • Sweeping Up

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    A young man, hired by a supermarket, reported for his first day of work.  The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and a smile, gave him a broom and said, "Your first job will be to sweep out the store.""But I'm a college graduate." the young man replied indignantly."Oh, I'm sorry.  I didn't know…

  • THE DARWIN AWARDS

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    THE DARWIN AWARDS are bestowed every year upon (the remains of) that individual, who through single-minded self-sacrifice, has done the most to remove undesirable elements from the human gene pool.Runners-up:[AP, Mammoth Lakes] A San Anselmo man died yesterday when he hit a lift tower at the Mammoth Mountain ski area while riding down the slope…

  • The Redneck Dictionary of Medical Terms

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    ArteryThe study of paintings.BacteriaBack door to cafeteria.BariumWhat doctors do when patients die. BenignWhat you be after you be eight.Cesarean SectionA neighborhood in Rome.CATscanSearching for kitty.CauterizeMade eye contact with her. ColicA sheep dog.ComaA punctuation mark. D & CWhere Washington is.DilateTo live long.EnemaNot a friend.FesterQuicker than someone else.FibulaA small lie. GenitalNon-Jewish person.G.I. SeriesWorld Series of military baseball.HangnailWhat…

  • Three Engineers

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    There are three engineers in a car; an electrical engineer, a chemical engineer, and a Microsoft engineer.  Suddenly the car just stops by the side of the road, and the three engineers look at each other wondering what could be wrong.The electrical engineer suggests stripping down the electronics of the car and trying to trace…