Category: Humor

Great truths about life that little children have learnedNo matter how hard you try, you can’t baptize cats.When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don’t let her brush your hair.If your sister hits you, don’t hit her back.  They always catch the second person.Never ask a 3-year old to hold a tomato.You can’t trust…

"Squawks" are problems noted by U.S. Air Force pilots and left for maintenance crews to fix before the next flight.  Here are some actual maintenance complaints logged by those Air Force pilots and the replies from the maintenance crews.(P) Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.(S) Almost replaced left inside main tire.(P) Test flight OK,…

All those who believe in psychokinesis, raise my hand.I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.OK, so what's the speed of dark?Support bacteria – they're the only culture some people have.Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.Ambition is a poor excuse for…

… Can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.… Are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.… Do people order double cheese burgers, a large fry, and a diet coke.… Do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.… Do we leave cars worth…

A guy goes into a restaurant/lounge wearing a shirt open at the collar and is met by a bouncer who tells him he must wear a necktie to gain admission.  So the guy goes out to his car and he looks around for a necktie and discovers that he just doesn't have one.  He sees…

There are these friends who play golf together every Saturday. Well, one Saturday they were getting ready to tee off when a guy, by himself, asked them if he could join them. The friends looked at each other and then looked at the man and said it was OK. So they teed off. About two…

A man was walking home alone one night when he hears a "BUMP… BUMP… BUMP…" behind him.  Walking faster, he looks back, making out an image of an upright coffin banging its way down the middle of the street towards him… "BUMP…BUMP…BUMP…"The man begins to run towards his home, but the coffin bounces after him,…