New Bumper Stickers

  • All those who believe in psychokinesis, raise my hand.
  • I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.
  • OK, so what's the speed of dark?
  • Support bacteria – they're the only culture some people have.
  • Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
  • When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
  • Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
  • Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
  • Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.
  • Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.
  • I intend to live forever – so far, so good.
  • Join the Army, meet interesting people, kill them.
  • If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
  • When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.
  • Black holes are where God divided by zero.
  • Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?